Some more tumblr gifs!
There are a load of new gifs on the tumblr site you can have a look at them and reblog at http://gifucked.tumblr.com. Do not forget to start following!
Nova.. Hello
Just finished watching the old planet of the apes film and if you ever needed a reason to watch old films she has to be it! Nova has no lines in the whole movie and i think she was amazing. I think it may have been the tight fitting cave-women bikini and dress.
Fire Tits
So as anyone who reads this blog will know Jazzer and I live pretty far away from each other. So not long ago I got on a plane to go visit him for a week and although we didn't get any sex in that seven day period we did get a lot of drinking done (properly the reason that we didn't have sex with many ladies). On the first night however I saw a sight that is literally burned into the memory bank of my minded.While walking the streets of an anonymous city we happening to stumbled into a titty bar (I later literally stumbled, or rather face-planted into the bar after $200 of yager bombs). However that is another story what I am talking about happened much earlier in the night. We walking in took a seat and go a couple of coke and bourbons off a pair of very nice C cups. As normal myself and jazzer played it cool while looking around the room from one pair of titties to the next. Then all of a sudden the music changes and a girl got up on a table and started to take out some cream. Then the 'bar booby babe' that had served us tells us to watch. The table mounted girl then starts to rub the cream into her ample bosom. A very nice sight indeed but it wasn't anything special.We continued to watch when all of a sudden out of no where with the slight of hand of a magician she magically (and it was rather magical) ignited her tits.
She did her little dance and we where just engrossed in watching the bouncing fiery tits in action. I am hard, Jazzer is talking her praises. We are confused, amused, impressed, aroused and I have to take a piss. With one movement the flames are out and the room goes dark. A prefect metaphor for my heart which knows that this is a sight I am not likely to see again. With that the catch phrases of "We saw a bird set her tits of fire!" was repeated again and again. The rest of the time we spent at the titty bar never reached that high because after all what are boobs without fire!
cumshot challenge: the results revisited
Here at the sex bible we love to have a good cum so it should come as no surprise that along with all the other graphs that we have made we have also done one that measures cumshot distance. The men of the sex bible community answered the call and gave us the data that we needed to compile this graph a while ago however since then even more people have volunteered their time to give us a better understand about the statistics of an average cumshot.I have remade the afore mentioned graph and it has change slightly however I have also done a brake down of cumshot distance by age. If you have not already done the cumshot challenge you can do it here!
The average distance of a cumshot was 103cm so it was pretty much spot on one meter. For another graph on cumshots click here!
Would you Do it?
So my question to you guys for today is. Would you do a devils threeway? It doesnt matter if you are a guy or a girl comment and tell us the reasons why or way not. Or what the situation would have to be for you to do one. I personally do not think i would just do one out of nowhere. Firstly the girl would have to be totally and completely up for it and into it, pretty much the facilitator of the whole thing! Secondly I think i would have to know the guy that was going to be there too. I am fine when it comes to nudity around friends (you just have to ask jazzer about that) but if the guy was a stranger i would be a little freaked out. Thats not to say that i mind being naked in front of a guy, i do that all the time in the gym showers but when erections come in to play its a whole other ball game.
Also what are your thoughts on eye contact? Should the two guys just avoid acknowledged that the other is there? I think that is enough questions and lets see where you take it!
Porn Review: Big Bang Theory: A XXX parody
I got the movie as a noveltiy because I love the tv show that it is based on. Now i love the porno too. This movie is no noveltiy in my opionion. The opening scene has some of the best sex I have ever seen in an adult film. Penny is everything you would want in a bird. Amazing curves and a crazy sexual appetite. This film will be sure to have your penis standing hard right from the start or pussy wet i guess if you are a female reader (on a side note if you are a female reader please leave a comment because we do not tend to get many).
The opening scene goes for a solid thirty minutes and is a dream sequence between 'princess leia' penny and the nerdy yet strangely also buff and well hung Leonard. If you manage to make it past this point without blowing your load then you will see a tribute to the big bang theory. It is obvious that the creators of this porno are big fans of the TV show with the depth and content of the film. Obviously the acting and humor is not at the same level as the TV show but that's okay because it does have a lot of fucking!
The film does contain a variety of different scenes in it. After the opening scene there is a lesbian three way between Penny played by Ashlynn Brooke and two of her friends. Of course the guys are watching this because Wolowitz has installed a hidden camera in Penny's room. The plot continues and of course the group are planning to go to comic con, it would not be a nerdy porno without mentioning comic con. The next sex scene in a double penetration with rajesh koothrappali, Sheldon and a girl in the University lunch room. This is the second best scene in the film behind the opening one.
There are a few more sex scenes in the film but I have to say that the good stuff is at the begining although you should holdout to see Ashlynn Brooke in the golden bikini that princess leia wears in return of the jedi. It doesnt stay on for long however because Penny and Leonard have a second sex scene and this time it actually happens. It is not as good as the first however! Leonard cums on penny and the film ends which brings me to the issue that i had with the film. Maybe issue is too harsher word its more of a WTF thought that i had as the credits rolled. I can not help but think that the porno missed out on an opportunity. Where was the Penny gangbang scene?
I really don't get why they didn't do one! It would have been a great scene to end the film on and you have the whole history of the show being that everyone is attracted to Penny. With this in mind and the fact the the film never manages to get better then the opening sex scene i have to say that the sex bible gives this 3 cocks out of 5. Its still worth a look and is a must if you are a fan of both the show and boobs!
more tumblr gifs!
I just made so more tumblr gifs. If you have not see the Sex Bible tumblr page then you can follow this link to have a look http://gifucked.tumblr.com/. It has over 70 gifs and going strong!
Pornography Procrastinate
I just realised something that I have been doing for a little while now. It seems when ever i have something important to do I procrastinate. This is nothing new however it seems more and more of my procrastinating time is spent walking porn. It was getting ridiculous and I really need to cut it out. Not entirely but I have been watching porn when i didn't even want to!
The world of sex in Europe
We are looking for any one from Europe to give us the what's what on sex, nudity and things in general when it comes to the great continent of Europe! Myself And jazzer are in the very early stages of planning a euro trip and if you have any ideas about things we should do or places that we should go then send them through. Obviously Amsterdam is a must. Which brings me to a question what are you thoughts of prostitutes obviously there the normal objects about whether the women really want to do it or not but if they really do is there still something wrong with it? Or is that just an unjust projection of someone else morality? Deep question there! Balls deep question! Well, until next time I look forward to hearing or should I say reading from you.
Would you do a gangbang
I have asked a few of these now so I thought that I might as well continue doing them. The question for discussion this time is. Would you par take in a gangbang? Would you do this any time or would there have to be a specific set of conditions
Fuck... Me!
This image was made and uploaded by idgifher1. I dont want to post too many gifs on here but fuck me! This is amazing. I could marry this woman if is stayed looking like that and keep doing that to me.
Fapping to best female friend fucking?
Okay so here is another hypothetical question for you. Think of your best female friend (that you have not sexual experience or history with). The question is would you fap to her fucking? is this an obvious yes or are there some lines that we should just leave be and never cross? And you can broaden this question to would you ever fap while watching people fuck. Obviously for the sake of this question you can not join in. Leave your comments below!
Making a Better Home Sex Tape
Introduction and Disclaimer
So you enjoy fucking and getting sucked off and you want to do something cool while doing the previously fore mentioned activities? Well then filming a sex tape may be something that you are interested in!
Before you continue reading the post I must point out that the humble sex tape can be a double edge sword and should be really intently thought about before you attempt one. This post will be about four different ways that you can improve your sex tape to make it more porn-like. Do not make a video if you are not willing to have it come out.
Filming a sex tape can be a very enjoyable act in its own right let alone the sex and the future enjoyment of it on a lonely and boring Saturday night when everyone else decides to go out. Now that the disclaimer and the introduction is over so lets move on to the the four things that you should do to make your sex tape better!
Rehearse Before Hand
Remember that tape can be edited and you do not have to film it all in one go. Subtle cuts can be your best friend when it comes to making a sex tape. However it is best if you have a plan before hand about what you are going to do. Talk to the girl about positions and the sexual acts that you are going to do (and willing to do). This helps when it comes to the transitions, they look smoother and the video will have a better flow.
Go for Appearance not Feeling
This goes for everything from your pubic hair to the sex positions that you choose. First of all lets start with yourself. Make sure that you trim your pubes and shave your balls, it will look a lot better on the camera. It is also great for the video if the girl puts on makeup and does her hair in a slutty way.
Sex positions are very important because there are some that look very awesome but do not feel so great and then there are some that do not allow for much visibility however they feel awesome. It is important that you enjoy the sex because it will show in the video however you also want to put on a show. This is why it is important to choose some of those positions that are in between as well as some of the more experimental positions like the one below!
Employ a Friend
We are all aware of the home sex tapes that make there way out on to the internet. They can be very good however they can get very boring indeed if it is all filmed from a tripod from the same place. In a similar vein it can be very samey if the whole video is filmed from P.O.V (point of view). If you have a friend that can film then it can make it a whole lot better. I do not think that you will have any problems finding a willing person to do it but you need to make sure that the person that you settle on will not release the video to the wider public. This person needs to be willing to make an agreement to not even get a copy of it. However you may have to make the concession that he can fap to you fucking your girlfriend.
This camera man will make a huge difference to the final look of the sex tape it could even end up looking like a proper porn. There is nothing better than looking at your porn and seeing yourself in it. This cameraman can also get in on the action if it is agreed upon before hand. This can include P.O.V. blowjobs or even putting the camera on a tripod and joining in.
Location and Lighting
Get an interesting location and make an event of it. Do not just film in your dark and messy bedroom. Rent a hotel room, find a deserted beach, go out on a boat. What ever you want to do make it an interesting location that adds more to the video. Secondly do not film in the dark and definitively do not film in night vision. Turn some lights on at the very least. You could also get some film lighting if you wanted (but this would cost some money) or just film it during the day time. You could also take it outside and fuck on a hotel balcony i am sure the passersby would not mind too much.
So they are the four points. I hope that you enjoyed it and I hope that you found something useful in it!
Manscaping: the trim
I have written two articles so far on manscaping. The first was on the over grown style and last week I wrote about the complete shave. This week it is the style in between these two that I will write about. The classic trim. Which has to be the very first style that everyone ever trys.
This style is great for anyone who want to get there cock and balls looking a whole lot better without going though a lot of effort. All you need is a pair of scissors a little care or maybe something a little bit safer. The best thing about this style is how easy and fast it is so do. In less than a minute you can complete this style.
The downsides to it are,
- you have to do it often to keep it at a short length
- it can be a bit dangerous if you are going to use sicssors, the best thing is a body groomer
- at a certain length it can be prickly and can be uncomfortable during sex.
If you do not want to commit to the complete shave but you still want to be neat down there then this is the style for you! Stay tuned for more styles now that we have covered the three basics.
Sex Positions: Anal Sex
Reverse Cowgirl AnalFanastic sex position especially for those guys who are fucking lazy fucksyou can lay back and let the girl do all the work. It also has some benefits for the bird as well because she can choose the speed, rhythm and force of the fuckage (my new word).
Doggy Style AnalThe doggy style sex position is everyone's favorite, men and women alike. It is of course even better when doing anal. This is a great position for power and force so if this is the girls first time at anal do not get carried away or at least take it slowly. But for the more experienced it is great for some animalistic fuckage.
Missionary AnalThe most common position is has just got a new twist. This is a great position for control and intimacy and fantastic for great fucking! A good first position for anal or at least a good starting point.
Spooning AnalThinking about filming a porno? want to look badass? or just filming your own home sex tape? then this is obviously a great position for you and for anyone who may end up seeing it. So grab a camera and give it a go. A great idea if your going to be away from your girlfriend for a long time. I mean who doesnt want to fap to themself fucking? On another not this is also a great position because both the guy and the girl can take control of the sex speed and rhythm.
PORNSTARS: Ashlynn Brooke
The second installment of the pornstar review series. This time I will be looking at the incredible Ashlynn Brooke said by many to be a hotter Bree Olsen. Not that Bree Olsen isn't hot, its just Ashlynn Brooke is more so. So get fapping and as we take a look at Ashlynn Brooke.
The last movie that I say Ashlynn Brooke in was a porn parody of the hit tv show (a view will be up soon) and even though it may seem like a novelty porno it was some of the best fucking I have ever seen in a movie. Ashlynn Brooke has been in a total of 99 adult films so if you have never heard of her then you have quite a back catalogue to go though
She also does a lot of hardcore porn like double penetration and orgies so if you are looking for a new pornstar to rub one out too then you should not look past the curvy and fucking hot Ashlynn Brooke!
New Pictures on Tumblr
Do not forget to have a look at the sex bible tumblr page. You can find it by looking at this page. I just uploaded five new pictures so head over there, like and reblog and get the word out!
#32 Picture of the week
Most of her body is covered but fuck me is this a hot picture. And It is this weeks Picture of the Week!
Sexy New Sex Bible
How fucking awesome does the sex bible look now? Answer - very sexy indeed. I just sortof finished the website update (few things need fixing) but its looking good. I will be adding in more content links and so on to get people viewing more posts.
Other then that there is now a direct link to the Sex Bible on the right of this post in the sidebar along with a link to the about page. It was about time that I got around to that. The Sex bible is going strong with the visitors aswell. Just this month we have had over 4000 hits. That is pretty awesome considering last month we were just pushing 1000.
Hope you enjoy the new look and see you in a future post!
Other then that there is now a direct link to the Sex Bible on the right of this post in the sidebar along with a link to the about page. It was about time that I got around to that. The Sex bible is going strong with the visitors aswell. Just this month we have had over 4000 hits. That is pretty awesome considering last month we were just pushing 1000.
Hope you enjoy the new look and see you in a future post!
Hiding Porn
This article is all about the different ways that you can hidden your porn. This is somewhat of an art to many guys. Personally I think the best ways are those that are in plain view but no one will ever find. I also recently made a HTPC so I researched a few ways of hiding porn in Windows Media Center. The following are what I consider to be the best ways.
Hidden and Invisible Folders:
Hidden Folders
The tried and tested old school way of hiding files and content on your computer. Hiding files is easy all you have to do is right click on your root folder and go to properties. Next at the bottom of the page that pops up click the box next to the word 'hidden' and then click apply. It is best to apply this to all the subfolders and files just in case so they do not show up on a search of your computer.
The file should disappear however do not worry this is what we wanted. To view it simply go to the folders options in the control panel. It is under the appearance and personalization tab. Then click the box next to the line that says 'show hidden folders'. Now you can view your porn! Do not forget to make the folder hidden again by going back into the folder options page and clicking it back to hiding all hiden content.
Invisible Folders
Invisible folders are different then hidden folders. They will be accessible all the time but you have to know where to look. So how do you make an invisible folder? Its Easy,
- Create a new document.
- Right Click and rename then hold Alt and type in 0160 (using the numberpad also num lock should be on). Then Press Enter
- Right Click and select 'change icon'. Choose the blank one.
Your done you made an invisible folder now just put it somewhere that someone will not accidentally come across it.
Mixtures, USB Key & Good locations:
Mixtures
For the safest and best hide make sure you use both the invisible and hidden files together. Not only do you have to know where to look with the invisible file but you also have to turn on the hidden folders using the control panel.
USB Key
This is cool because it is rather nice. If you find turning hidden folders off and on again a big hassle you can do away with it and instead turn a USB drive (or other storage device) into a key that makes your porn visible. I told you it was pretty cool. It is also very easy to do.
Make two folder 'porn1' and 'porn2'. Put all your porn and files you want to hide in 'porn2 and then put that folder in 'porn1'. Now hide the 'porn1' file by right clicking on it and going to properties. When you click apply make sure that it only applies to this folder and none of the other sub folders and files.
Next put in your USB and make a Folder called 'Porn'. Make a shortcut of 'Porn2' and put it into the 'Porn' folder on the USB. then make a short cut of the porn folder and put it in the same folder as 'porn1'. Now hide your folders by going to the folder options page in the control pannel.
'Porn1' should disappear however the shortcut to 'porn' will still be there. Click on that and then click on 'porn2' and there is your porn. However take out the USB and go back do the root folder click on 'porn' again and it will say file can not be found. Obviously you can rename the files to make it less obvious.
Good Locations
It is not just about hiding the porn folder itself. It is also about hiding the folder on the computer. I use my own computer which is rarely used by others so I do not have to worry about someone finding my hidden files so I just have the, in my 'videos' and 'pictures' folders.
The best places I think for hiding folders on the computer are those places that people rarely gets to. You can store it within a folder in the 'Program Files' folder on your Hard drive.
TIP: The deeper you go the less likely it is that someone will find it.
Or Dont Store it on your computer
Another option is just to get an external hard drive that you can actually hide in the real world and you can whip it out when you whip your thing out.
I hope that this article was helpful to you. If you have any questions or other ways to hide porn (there are loads) please comment.
Manscaping: Shaved
Well I posted an article last week on manscaping because I had not trimming and shaved for a while due to an international trip. I thought this week I would write about the complete opposite of the spectrum. The complete shave is very obvious but if you are still not sure there is a picture above like last week.
This style is about getting rid of all of the hair on your cock and balls. This is jazzers style ( as far as I can tell) I told him to do it once and ever since he has shaved it all off down there. The great thing about this is it make your cock look a lot bigger. Not that jazzer needs it. (Refer to my previous comments on jazzers cock)
It is also great for keeping it all clean down there and makes it a lot simpler when you come to rubbing it all down (washing not flapping). The negatives are still there but,
- hard to maintain the freshly shaved look
- can be a bit dangerous when trimming and shaving
- not the best look when you are walking in to a shower room with a group of guys
Good luck and give shaving a go! If your keen about shaving your penis and balls invest in a body groomed it will make it quicker, safer and look a lot better!
New Masturbation Style
We all love a good fapping. that why it was awesome when i discovered a new way to wank off today. There was nothing incredibly unique about it but its great when you can find one because of the different way that it feels.
I will have to compile a list sometime soon of all the different styles. I am sure between myself and Jazzer we could name a lot. However if you have one that you thing is different please post it below!
I will have to compile a list sometime soon of all the different styles. I am sure between myself and Jazzer we could name a lot. However if you have one that you thing is different please post it below!
Sister Sex?
I was chatting to Jazzer the other day and I asked him this hypothetical question. If you could choose a threesome between two hot sisters or two hot unrelated girls which one would you choose? Jazzer and I both came down on the same side by saying that you would have to choose the sisters.
Now obviously that is incest but i dont think that really had any bearing on our decisions. It really made me think 'am I just fucked up in the head', Or does that just not have to concern me. Is it the Sisters that have to worry about the taboo?. Anywho just a thought and if you would like to chime in you can write in a comment below!
Cumshot Challenge: The results
We started the cumshot challenge as a way to find out a little more about the cumshot. How far is the average cumshot and so on. This was far from scientific but it should give you an idea about where you rank! If you have not done the cumshot challenge you still can just follow this link.
As you can see the majority of guys shoot below 50 cm when they cum. The graph then descends as the distance increases until it gets to 300+ cms. This is probably due to insecure douche bags. The most common tips for increasing distance, provided by those people who took the cumshot challenge were,
- Stop fapping for a little while and then start again.
- No not shoot cum for a couple of days.
- Pull back foreskin (not a problem for me).
- Gently squeezing the tip of cock while cumming.
If you have any ideas for more challenges or ways to improve your cumshot please post below!
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